Home » My view of the world » Thoughts of a middle aged man…..30 June 2013

Thoughts of a middle aged man…..30 June 2013

Today I had every intention of going to see Mum in the nursing home, but I woke up feeling quite off colour so thought it better not to go. Mum is quite frail and any bug I may have will not do her much good. I would rather put up with her complaining about me not going than others carrying on because I made her ill. I will see her next weekend.

To my surprise I have just received a call from my sister Carolyn who called to tell me that if I did visit Mum she may be quite upset about some news she has been given, now I feel that I should have gone no matter what. Thinking about it I was still probably wiser not to go as knowing what has upset Mum I could not really show her the sympathy she probably expects, as it concerns a member of my family I am not particularly fond of.

In saying that I wish no-one ill, I belive in karma too much for that, and while I hope this person does recover, I am not interested in hearing the ins and outs of what ails them. In fact this person should have known better than to say anything to Mum, at least until it was all over, it says a lot for the kind of person they are, it’s all about me, me, me. There is a reason that Mum picked Carolyn and I to handle her affairs, we are the strong ones, the ones who can make intelligent decisions in spite of the emotion involved.

Carolyn also told me that people who used to visit Mum regularly are just finding it too difficult to deal with her now, so people she used to see regularly have now stopped going. If only she would realise she is her own worst enemy, she has become so child-like and even more needy than she has always been.

What is more disconcerting is that her behaviour is also having its effect on her carers, where there used to be a genuine fondness towards her some of them are now trying to avoid dealing with her. They say she is becoming overly demanding, even trying to exclude other patients, and that her emotional responses are just too overwhelming, this from trained professionals, people who deal with this all the time, she must be difficult.

I can only hope that when my time comes I handle it with more grace than my mother. Thank you for reading.

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