I hate it when this happens, when my thoughts play with my head, and with my emotions. The worst time seems to be during my drive to work in the morning, the radio is always on but it doesn’t help. I think about what might have been, the things I have done that I regret, things that I thought at the time were the right thing to do, other things that I knew were stupid and would come back to bite me, then there are the things that were out of my control, events caused by others around me.
Fortunately once I get to work I am usually able to dive in to what I have to do and those negative feelings soon dissipate, for the time being anyway, they are never far away. Am I the only one that thinks like this, do other people find themselves the unwitting victims of their thoughts. I cannot be the only one.
These things that haunt me, some of them go back to my childhood, random memories of things best forgotten, yet I can’t forget them. Yes I have moved on, but not as far as I would have hoped. I have questions, but those who would have willingly provided the answers are either no longer with us, or are unable to help.
Maybe one day I will wake up and realise that I have not had those thoughts, those memories, for a very long time. Maybe time will heal.
Goodnight and thank you for reading.