Home » My view of the world » Thoughts of a middle aged man…..31 October 2013

Thoughts of a middle aged man…..31 October 2013

What a rollercoaster of emotions this week, a week I do not want to repeat in a hurry.

Last Sunday the entire family gathered at Kane‘s for his daughter Alyssa’s 8th birthday celebrations. What a great night it was, all the grandchildren were there, no tantrums, my boys all got along well together, and Kane treated us to am impromptu session on the guitar and drums, something he does not often do for the family.

By Monday night I was starting to feel quite unwell, and by Tuesday morning I felt dreadful. I went to work regardless but by the end of the day I was well and truly wilting so I decided to have the Wednesday morning off as I had an appointment at 12.00.

Just as my appointment finished I got a call from my ex-wife to say that one of my sons had attempted to harm himself, fortunately for him and us he was unsuccessful. Anyway I went straight to the hospital, I was mad but I was relieved and I was emotional. With tears streaming down my face it was a very long drive and when I saw him, and I saw the pain in his face, my emotions spilled over.

I can be a pretty tough cookie, but when it comes to Brian, my children, or my grandchildren, I am not that tough. All I wanted to do was give him a hug and put a band-aid somewhere and make it all better, but that just does not cut it any more.

My other three sons have all been rocked by this, I don’t think any of us quite realised just how much pain my boy is going through. He is now in a mental health hospital undergoing treatment but yet another kick in the guts, the medication he is on for his recently diagnosed bipolar is reacting negatively with his blood sugar levels. What next?

I have faith in all my boys, and I know this son will overcome this and come out the other end a stronger and happier person. If I could have just one wish in this life it would be for all four of my sons to be with me when my times comes, that is the natural order of life, and I will accept no less.

Halloween bah humbug!


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