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Monthly Archives: September 2014

Some people don’t deserve to have kids

Being a parent is probably the hardest thing I have ever done, kids don’t come with a manual, and parents are only human, they make mistakes. Kids don’t ask to come into this world, although there are those that argue they do, and that they actually pick their parents. Some people don’t deserve kids.

I am particularly distressed at the moment reading about the sad life of little Chloe Valentine, could this poor little angel really have picked her own parents, why would any child pick people like them. This poor child was not wanted from the moment she was born, and her short horrendous life just leaves me speechless, how could any parents treat their children like this.

How do parents murder their own children, incomprehensible. Not long ago a young boy was murdered by his father in front of his friends, you read about this type of thing all the time and often the parents then kill themselves, cowards.

I am in no way a perfect father or grandfather, but my sons and my grandchildren know that I did, and continue to do, the best that I know how. I love them all more than life and support them  in their life decisions, although I may not always understand their reasoning.

All I have ever wanted is for my children to be happy, and to be able to bring up their own children in loving and happy homes. There have been many times when my  heart has ached as one or the other was going through a difficult period, but though it all they knew I was but a phone call away, and I always will be.

Random Memories and Mind Games

The mind is a powerful thing, I truly believe that if you think positive and wish for something hard enough the powers of the Universe will provide. Of course on the flip side your mind can drive you crazy, your own mind can play the most powerful of mind games with itself.

What I hate is when I am having a good day, and this usually occurs when I am driving and not concentrating on very much at all, then it hits, a random memory from years ago comes back, usually a memory that brings back either feelings of self loathing or hurt.

Everyone has done something in their lives they would rather forget, everyone has memories of sad times as well as good, why oh why is it usually the sad ones that come flooding back, and why do those same feelings experienced all those years ago still seem so raw.

Try as I might when I am feeling like this the more I try to think positive thoughts, the stronger the memories become. Why is it that happy memories seem to skip through your mind but those that make you feel so helpless linger.

Then of course there are the fears that start to creep in when I am alone, I start to hear noises that are not there, I see shadows that are completely innocent but my mind is telling me there is something or someone there. The more scared I become the stronger the feelings, your mind feeds on itself.

I am sure I am not alone, it just feels that way sometimes. I know there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and I know that memories are just that, they cannot hurt you. Think positive and be strong. All good things come to those who wait.

My Dad

I have just come home after a pleasant afternoon with my Dad, a late Father’s Day visit. I know Father’s Day was last weekend but my siblings saw Dad then and to be honest, except for one of them, we just do not get on so I would rather go when they are not there. It is better for all concerned.

My Dad is a very unique character, and we talked about all sorts of things, the breakdown of his marriage to my mother, something for which my mother has always blamed him for 100%, but she was no angel, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and of course my own children and grandchildren.

We talked about his poker machine addiction, his horse racing addiction, and my poor stepmother who is the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. Dad told me how lonely he is, what a wonderful life he has had, and the fact that his only regret is my stepmother’s illness. He told me that she always stood by him no matter what and he will never give up on her.

Dad is a Type 2 diabetic with a very sweet tooth. He gave up checking his blood sugar years ago and basically eats and drinks whatever he wants, he has bags full of lollies at his fingertips, some of my favourites, but I resisted.

One of Dad’s favourite lollies are jubes, not only full of sugar but covered in sugar as well. One of Dad’s favourite drinks is coffee with a bit of port in it, and what does Dad sweetens his coffee with, he saves the sugar that collects at the bottom of the jubes bag and puts that in his coffee. What more can I say!

The week that was……..

I’m glad that’s over, another very busy week behind me. It has now been five weeks since the merger, I was off work ill for a week and I just cannot get my head above water. September, October and November are my busiest months of the year for meetings, and I just don’t see how I can catch up, but I will. Rock on December, I cannot wait to get to New Zealand.

Thursday was a good day, absolutely nothing could have wrecked that day. I had a 5.00pm meeting to which only two out of sixteen owners attended and I had six proxies, one short of a quorum, not my problem but mildly annoying just the same.

Anyway son Number 3 Blake moved to Alice Springs back in April and on Thursday he came home for a few days break, I was beside myself I miss him so much. Alice Springs obviously agrees with him, I know I look at my sons through rose-coloured glasses, but he looks so happy and healthy. He went away to deal with his demons and as much as I miss him it is not yet time to come home.

Blake’s intention was to surprise his daughter and all his nieces and nephews so we arranged for the entire family, with the exception of Wade and Gink who were on holiday in Phuket at the time, to come to our house for a pizza night. Unbeknown to the children Blake was hiding in our spare room.

When everyone had arrived Blake facetimed his brother Kane and was talking to everyone, the children were so excited to see his face and talk to him. Quite out of the blue the phone cut out, hmm, I wonder why, and then Blake walked into the livingroom, the children just looked at him in amazement and then all of a sudden the penny dropped and he was mobbed. It bought a tear to the old man’s eye I can tell you.

Thursday was a good day.