While Brian is shuffling all over Adelaide taking his mother and sister on a shopping spree I am having a lazy day at home. Actually it is not such a lazy day really as I am pottering, but at least I am doing it at my own pace which is a leisurely one.
Two loads of washing done and another two to go. I have already been to see my doctor as I needed a prescription, then into the supermarket to buy some drinks for the grandchildren tonight. I also bought some Metamucil capsules that my doctor recommended for my ongoing irritable bowel, which is making me very irritable. Yet another tablet to add to the cocktail I take each day.
Tonight most of the family will be together at Blake’s new home where he will also be introducing his new girlfriend Jackie and her little bundle of joy Kyson. What a little chubber he is, Brian and I met them last weekend so at least they are not being inundated with the entire family en masse for the first time. It is just a shame we will not all be together, but that is another story.
This afternoon I need to wash a couple of chairs we need to take to Blake’s as he does not yet have seating for all, and about 4.30 Blake’s daughter Jade will arrive so we can take her with us.
Bills are also paid, that is always a joy, just a couple of emails to send, when will it end? Exhausting!
I find myself with somewhat of a conundrum at the moment, one of those times when I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Two of my four sons are not particularly happy with me at the moment, and in at least one of these cases my son is probably correct, it would appear that I am a hypocrite.
I am happily ensconced in a same-sex relationship, as is one of my sons, and while I would like to think I am fairly liberal-minded, there are some things that I just do not understand. I do not love him any less, I simply just do not understand some of his choices, and while I would not try to stop him from living his life his way, there are some things that I would prefer not to confront. If that makes me a hypocrite and a bad father I am guilty as charged. I apologise profusely if this hurts his feelings, but that is how I feel.
As for my other son, a similar problem but a far different scenario. All I ever wanted is for my sons to be happy, to make their way in life as best they can, to be good men, good partners, and good fathers. I want them to have the opportunities I did not, and to have long, happy and fulfilling lives.
Sometimes I just can’t help myself, I am human so I interfere, but at all times it is done with love. I don’t ask much, just the occasional visit, it doesn’t have to be an all day affair, just a quick chat and off again. In time he will understand, he will feel the same way I do with his own children.
Where do we go from here, well I have always told my sons to stay close, one day their mother and I will be gone, and it is my hope that they will support each other throughout their lives. Unfortunately there is currently a rift that will not go away, one is too outspoken and the other very defensive. Xmas should be fun!
Regardless of what happens my four sons will always mean the world to me, and their children are the icing on the cake. I love you all. Be happy and play nice!
If I were a rich man, all the things I could do, if I had a little money, it’s a rich mans’ world, words after my own heart by Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock, from the musical Fiddler on the Roof, and ABBA. They say money can’t buy happiness and I would not want it to, but wouldn’t it be fun trying. I really don’t think money would change Brian and I, we are quite content with our lot in life, but that is not to say we wouldn’t like more.
In saying that I have been telling Brian for years that I could feel a big win coming, and I still can. We are not poor but we are not rich either,we have been through hell and back financially, we have paid the price for our folly and we have grown and moved on, and we are rightly proud of where we are now.
What will I do when that windfall blows in, first cab off the rank and Brian and I would go away to consider our future, to decide what we will do with our new-found wealth. Without question of a doubt my four sons would all get a handout, nothing ridiculous, they will have to wait and see what is left in the will for that.
If I know Brian he will want to give his mother some, we would buy our dream home, buy me a new car as he has just got one, and have a long, long holiday. When the dust settles and we are in our dream home it will be time for my racing pigeons, no expense spared.
I am also a big believer in what the Universe gives it can also take, so just to help karma a little we would give a certain amount to charity, although my personal preference would be to buy some new equipment for the Women’s and Children’s Hospital.
I can’t help thinking I have forgotten something, oh yes, I would retire. Dream on Sunshine.