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Yearly Archives: 2015
This week Brian and I celebrated 14 years of domestic bliss, and some times not so much bliss. We met on a Saturday night in 2001 and almost from the start we both knew we had something special.
It didn’t take long and we were living together so I eventually rented out my unit, the one fly in the ointment at that time was that I had not come out to my sons and therefore Brian was like a dirty little secret. Anyway before long everything was out in the open, I won’t say it was all smooth sailing, but now we are a fairly tight happy family, and have been for a very long time, in fact three of my four sons have lived with us at one time or another.
It has certainly been an eventful 14 years, Brian has had more jobs that I can remember but now he has a career and I could not be happier or prouder. I was made redundant from my job of 27 years just before my 50th birthday which was quite traumatic for me, but things have worked out for the best. If only retirement could come a little quicker.
In the last 14 years Brian and I have bought two homes, and two businesses have come and gone; that was our lowest point but we are now almost back on top, bigger and better than we ever were. At one point we also had two rental properties.
We have cruised around New Zealand, been to Tasmania twice, driven across the Nullarbor to Perth and back, and made numerous trips to Melbourne. We are now looking forward to our next cruise to New Caledonia, Vanuatu, and Fiji, it cannot come quick enough.
Would I change anything, not really, everything we have been through together, both the good and the bad, has brought us to where we are now. I wouldn’t swap him for the world and I can’t wait to see what the next 14 years will bring. Happy Anniversary!
While Brian is shuffling all over Adelaide taking his mother and sister on a shopping spree I am having a lazy day at home. Actually it is not such a lazy day really as I am pottering, but at least I am doing it at my own pace which is a leisurely one.
Two loads of washing done and another two to go. I have already been to see my doctor as I needed a prescription, then into the supermarket to buy some drinks for the grandchildren tonight. I also bought some Metamucil capsules that my doctor recommended for my ongoing irritable bowel, which is making me very irritable. Yet another tablet to add to the cocktail I take each day.
Tonight most of the family will be together at Blake’s new home where he will also be introducing his new girlfriend Jackie and her little bundle of joy Kyson. What a little chubber he is, Brian and I met them last weekend so at least they are not being inundated with the entire family en masse for the first time. It is just a shame we will not all be together, but that is another story.
This afternoon I need to wash a couple of chairs we need to take to Blake’s as he does not yet have seating for all, and about 4.30 Blake’s daughter Jade will arrive so we can take her with us.
Bills are also paid, that is always a joy, just a couple of emails to send, when will it end? Exhausting!
I find myself with somewhat of a conundrum at the moment, one of those times when I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Two of my four sons are not particularly happy with me at the moment, and in at least one of these cases my son is probably correct, it would appear that I am a hypocrite.
I am happily ensconced in a same-sex relationship, as is one of my sons, and while I would like to think I am fairly liberal-minded, there are some things that I just do not understand. I do not love him any less, I simply just do not understand some of his choices, and while I would not try to stop him from living his life his way, there are some things that I would prefer not to confront. If that makes me a hypocrite and a bad father I am guilty as charged. I apologise profusely if this hurts his feelings, but that is how I feel.
As for my other son, a similar problem but a far different scenario. All I ever wanted is for my sons to be happy, to make their way in life as best they can, to be good men, good partners, and good fathers. I want them to have the opportunities I did not, and to have long, happy and fulfilling lives.
Sometimes I just can’t help myself, I am human so I interfere, but at all times it is done with love. I don’t ask much, just the occasional visit, it doesn’t have to be an all day affair, just a quick chat and off again. In time he will understand, he will feel the same way I do with his own children.
Where do we go from here, well I have always told my sons to stay close, one day their mother and I will be gone, and it is my hope that they will support each other throughout their lives. Unfortunately there is currently a rift that will not go away, one is too outspoken and the other very defensive. Xmas should be fun!
Regardless of what happens my four sons will always mean the world to me, and their children are the icing on the cake. I love you all. Be happy and play nice!
If I were a rich man, all the things I could do, if I had a little money, it’s a rich mans’ world, words after my own heart by Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock, from the musical Fiddler on the Roof, and ABBA. They say money can’t buy happiness and I would not want it to, but wouldn’t it be fun trying. I really don’t think money would change Brian and I, we are quite content with our lot in life, but that is not to say we wouldn’t like more.
In saying that I have been telling Brian for years that I could feel a big win coming, and I still can. We are not poor but we are not rich either,we have been through hell and back financially, we have paid the price for our folly and we have grown and moved on, and we are rightly proud of where we are now.
What will I do when that windfall blows in, first cab off the rank and Brian and I would go away to consider our future, to decide what we will do with our new-found wealth. Without question of a doubt my four sons would all get a handout, nothing ridiculous, they will have to wait and see what is left in the will for that.
If I know Brian he will want to give his mother some, we would buy our dream home, buy me a new car as he has just got one, and have a long, long holiday. When the dust settles and we are in our dream home it will be time for my racing pigeons, no expense spared.
I am also a big believer in what the Universe gives it can also take, so just to help karma a little we would give a certain amount to charity, although my personal preference would be to buy some new equipment for the Women’s and Children’s Hospital.
I can’t help thinking I have forgotten something, oh yes, I would retire. Dream on Sunshine.
I have just spent a pleasant afternoon with my 80-year-old Dad. It is not uncommon for Dad to reminisce when I am with him and today was no exception, the memories today were of his childhood in Adelaide, South Australia during World War 2.
Dad was four when the war started and ten when it finished, and he remembers my grandfather taking them for a drive to a local Adelaide beach, but you could not use the beaches during the war as they were covered in barbed wire in case the Japanese invaded.
He also remembers that the people who lived next door would not talk to his family, they would not even return my father’s ball, because their father had been sent to war and my grandfather had not. My grandfather did try to enlist but he worked in munitions so he was sent back to work for the war effort.
Before the war my grandfather used to breed spaniels, at one stage he had over twenty, but as there was no meat to feed them during the war he had to take them to the local council to be put down. Something one never considers when talking about the war, the effect on people’s pets.
My grandfather also dug a bomb shelter in the back yard which he lined with mud as you could not get bricks, and my grandmother used to cook outside using any wood she could get for a fire.
Here we are 70 years later and we take so much for granted, we truly do live in the lucky country.
Well that’s it for another year, Father’s Day 2015 is over. I am a happy man, I have seen all my sons and their families today, and that is all I ask. I don’t expect presents or cards, all I ask for is a visit, and that I got. Thank you boys, you don’t know how much today meant to me.
Ryan and his family came first, closely followed by Wade and Gink, then Blake and his daughter Jade, and finally a very hung over Kane and family. Not as young as we used to be hey Son, it takes a little bit longer to recover than it used to. Don’t get me wrong, Kane is not a heavy drinker, but it was a work thing and he had to entertain clients, at least that’s his excuse.
I called my own father this morning and will see him next weekend. Father’s Day is not a big deal to him but he is getting older, and let’s face it none of us know when it could be our last.
I also remember someone who meant a lot to me for a very long time, he has been gone longer than I ever knew him, but his memory will always live on. Uncle Max was a substitute father to me at a time when I needed one, and I was not close to my own father. He will always have a place in my heart.
Kathy is someone I will never forget, it has been a long time since she was tragically taken, but memories of our time together are still strong. There are a couple of funny memories I would like to share, I hope they bring a smile to your face as they do to mine.
Although Kathy and I had our ups and downs like all friends, somehow things always worked out. We were workmates first and then friends, and while we had a lot in common, at the same time we were very different. Kathy had a failed marriage, and I had a failed marriage, and I think that was the common bond.
I remember one day I went to the toilet and the zipper on my pants broke, Kathy knew I had to go home by train so she offered to stitch my pants together, so she did, with me in them. In between pleading with her to be careful where she put that needle, and threatening her should she slip, we laughed. I suppose you had to be there but the office got a good laugh at my expense.
My funniest memory, well you need some background first. In those days I often worked back, and I was often the last one in the building. One night when I was alone the hand dryer in the men’s toilet went off, I crapped myself and rang my son, I told him to stay on the line while I checked it out, and if I was not back in five minutes he was to call the police, needless to say I went back. Silly me , I made the mistake of laughing about it in the office the next day, little did I know that one day that hand dryer, and Kathy, would come back to haunt me.
A few months later I was working back again, although this time I was supervising the office staff, Kathy amongst them, as they were keying a recent stocktake. Anyway I was in my office and the girls were down the passage way in the open office, glass petitions all the way, although only half way up.
After a while that damned hand dryer went off again, and again I crapped myself as I knew that no-one other than me was in that end of the building, and none of the girls had come anywhere near my office. I decided to casually meander down to be with the girls and keep to myself what had happened, I did not want to look like a woos.
As I got to the open office I noticed that Kathy was not at her desk and the other girls could not contain themselves, they were roaring with laughter. Kathy had crawled on her hands and knees the entire length of the building and snuck past my open door to set off the hand dryer.
Not to be outdone I hid under Kathy’s desk and a few minutes later she came down the passage way wetting herself with laughter and asked the girls where I was, at which time I jumped out from under her desk and got my own back. A silly memory, but a happy one. RIP Kathy.