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Thoughts of a middle aged man…..5 March 2014

As human beings we all seem to thrive on the misfortunes of others so picture this if you will. Last Monday was a particularly hot day in Adelaide, and the warmest part of the day is generally about the time we are on our way home from work. Driving home last Monday I was conscious of the fact that my car was in desperate need of petrol, but I decided I could make it to the service station on Hampstead Road, about 5 or 6 kilometres from my office. As I knew it would be touch and go I thought it best to have the windows down for that short drive, as I knew that having the air conditioning on would chew up the juice even more.

Before I even got to turn onto Hampstead Road I could see that the traffic was bumper to bumper, I could feel my anxiety rise. Just a minor blip in the traffic I thought, it will be fine, fine my butt, once on Hampstead Road I could see the traffic was banked up a very, very long way, and no sign of a service station. I knew there was a service station a couple of kilometres down the road so I drove on, fingers crossed.

Juts a couple of minutes later and a lorry full of squealing, grunting, smelly pigs pulled along side, but I soldiered on, windows down to try to keep cool. Now pigs are not human, they have no concept of bladder control, and it was not long before they started squirting pee all over the road, time to put the windows up me thinks. At this point I am thinking that not only is my car going to run out of petrol, but I have two unpleasant choices to make, do I cook in my car, or do I risk getting peed on by a pig, I decided to cook. Is that a smile I see 🙂

The traffic was not moving any quicker as I inched my way forward, and by now I could see that the traffic jam continued over the intersection, and as I could see a truck with flashing lights up ahead I decided to make a turn at the lights and look for a service station. Crap I thought, I may be out of the traffic but where in the heck is a service station? I decided to take some back streets and hope I came out before my original destination, the service station on Hampstead Road, otherwise I would be up the proverbial creek.

To cut a long story short I made it to the service station, and guess who had the last laugh little piggies, that pork cutlet for dinner was delicious. Oink! 🙂