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Thoughts of a middle aged man…..3 May 2013

Today is my mother’s 78th birthday, that’s right she is one day younger than my father. As I worked today we will be visiting Mum in the nursing home tomorrow, I hope the flowers I ordered arrived.

On Sunday my siblings are holding an afternoon tea for Mum at the nursing home, very close friends and family. Unfortunately Brian and I will not be attending because two of my three siblings make things so unpleasant when we are around, and somehow they come out smelling like roses and I am made out to be the bad guy. Most times Brian and I do not get invited to family functions because of this, nobody wants to upset the others but it is perfectly fine to hurt my feelings. The only invitations we get is when the others cannot make it, so guess what, if we are not good enough to be invited every time we will not come at all.

Mum and I have never been particularly close and she never showed any interest in my children or my grandchildren, consequently none of them ever visit her and they will not be there on Sunday either as they are never invited. It is a shame that we have such a dysfunctional family, but you get that. The main thing is that Brian and I are close with my children and grandchildren.

Mum and Dad divorced when I was about 7, I am now 54, and I am the eldest child. Dad went on to marry my stepmother Joy who is now gravely ill with Alzheimer’s, while Mum never remarried, Dad was her second husband, but she eventually met the love of her life who died twelve years ago.

Mum has been in the nursing home for about 5 years now and really has no quality of life. Other than the fact that she is getting more and more crotchety, and dementia is taking its toll, she seems for the most part to have accepted her lot in life.

Thoughts of a middle aged man…..27 February 2013

Brian and I went to see my mother in the nursing home today, not the most joyous of events. Mum is always confused, and she just waffles about things that make no sense. Today I asked her if she knew she had a new great-grandchild on the way, and she asked who was having a baby, I told her Shane and his wife but she had no idea who Shane was.

Mum complained that she was in pain, I suspect it is just because she cannot move herself and therefore she aches when she is left in the same position for too long, the nurse confirmed this for me. She also said she would like another husband, but someone who can look after her this time. You just have to laugh as it is too sad really.

She complains because she does not see people as often as she wants and does not understand that people have other commitments, she thinks she should come first. In that respect she has not changed, Mum has always put herself first, I know it sounds harsh but it is true. I remember when my ex-wife and I first separated years ago Mum was not talking to me, and she told my sister to say she felt sorry for me but I needn’t think I could live with her again. Unfortunately I have too many stories like that.

My youngest sister Carolyn who has done the most for Mum in the last few years, was the victim of Mum’s irrational opinion today, fortunately she was not there to hear it and I will not be telling her. The blue-eyed one is the one that has treated her the worst over the years, and now out of guilt tries to be the good daughter.

Proof that bad things do happen to good people, my son Ryan and his fiancée Melissa have been doing it quite tough for a while now, and each time they get a break something else goes wrong. Just when things are looking up some scumbag steals one of their cars, they both work full-time and they both need a car. I hope this person is proud of themselves, and I hope the police catch you and throw the book at you.

I might check out YouTube for a while now. Have fun and thank you for reading.

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Thoughts of a middle aged man…..21 January 2013

OK I think I have made up my mind, I don’t like MasterChef The Professionals, I just cannot get into it. The only thing that makes it worth watching is the fact that it is not a rerun which I am heartily sick of, so you have me until something better comes along.

I should probably keep my opinion on this next subject to myself, but you know me, I have an opinion on everything. Breastfeeding in public, now I do not have a problem with this just as long as it is done discreetly. Most women would not flash their breasts at any other time so what makes it alright to do so when breastfeeding, and if it is OK to do so when breastfeeding why be such prudes at other times, it seems like a double standard to me.

I may be old-fashioned but I can remember my aunts always had a strategically placed blanket or a cloth nappy when required. Hang on a moment, mothers don’t use cloth nappies any more do they, you can’t exactly sling a disposable nappy over your shoulder can you. Disposable nappies, that is a whole other subject that I think I have touched on before so I won’t elaborate further tonight, suffice to say disposable nappies do have their place, but women today just take the easy way out.

On a different matter entirely today I had a nice long chat with an old friend I have not seen for years, we were very close as children and in our teens but we drifted apart. I am very pleased we have found each other again, thank you Mr Facebook, and I am now looking forward to my god-daughter’s wedding on 10 August where I hope we can have an even longer chat.

Now that I have upset every mother on the planet I will withdraw for tonight and await the tirade that I know will come my way.

Thank you for reading.